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Vamos! With the weight of my failures on top of my existing 86 kgs, I couldn't have felt heavier;

I spent the first couple of months going hard at the gym, 3-4 times a week, while completely changing my eating habits.

A couple of months later, I was about 81 kgs. When you go through any transformation, the early days are great because you get quick results. Once you hit your first plateau, you are lost and clueless—impatience and insecurities peak.

I decided to train harder, more hours in the gym and nets, fewer hours to rest. As ACL - 2 arrived, the inevitable happened. I'd torn a muscle. My eagerness to undo my failures from ACL-1 clouded my judgement. Ignoring all medical advice, I went ahead and played ACL-2. ACL-2 started with me getting another opportunity up the order; I went at #3(1 down). I made 22(14), a tremendous improvement from last time around. Everyone chipped in, and we got a solid total of 236 to defend. I couldn't stop staring at the scorecard because of my name in the match summary (Top 3 run scorers from any team). We won that game.

The second game is one of the highlights of my cricketing journey. Possibly the only time I was a "game-changer" of sorts. I went in at 1 down again and got out first ball. Golden duck being the game-changer? What are you smoking, Naren?

Without much knowledge of what I was doing, I tried my hands at leg-spin to find ways to contribute to the team. Results were coming. Chasing 154, Blue Eagles were on the driver's seat needing 11 runs off 12 balls with 2 set batsmen. I went in to bowl the 19th over with only one intention in mind.

After 3 taken in the first 2 balls, I bowled the best 4 balls of my life. Wicket. Dot. Wicket. Dot. Suddenly 8 is needed off the last over, and we managed to pull an epic 1 run victory.

I got the Man Of The Match award while scoring a golden duck and bowling 4 good balls. To date, I don't feel I deserved that trophy. My biggest learning from that day is that one failure isn't the end. Life will present you with an opportunity to rise again.

Cricket is the ultimate leveller, though; The highs of the 2nd game vanished the following week, as I once again didn't utilize the opportunity with the bat. I made 32(36), with the fear of getting out constantly at the back of my mind. I never thought about scoring runs; I kept thinking about not getting out. When you think about "not failing", you are tuning your brain to think about failure as the primary emotion driving your decision making. It's human nature; We have been conditioned this way for thousands of years. If we didn't think about the negative in the days of the cavemen, we'd die.

To date, I struggle with this. When I fail, my mind immediately dives into the negatives. Something I am still trying to work on.

The 4th game was a one-man show, with Bilal scoring the first-ever 100 for AE. The series was level at 2-2, the title up for grabs in the finals.

I got the priced wicket of Bilal, the centurion, in the finals. We chased 180 comfortably. I was gutted about my batting form, but contributing to a match and a series win for the team cause overpowers your personal disappointments.

After winning ACL - 2, we had only a couple of months till ACL - 3. I played through ACL - 2 in immense pain courtesy of my injury.

The one common advice by every doctor was,

I didn't listen. I continued playing.

ACL - 3 was a forgettable tournament for the Red Eagles and me. I didn't get any opportunity to bat in the first 4 games; I was going at number 7,8, or 9. Some of the batsmen had figured my bowling out by then. My injury got worse. It was playing through my mind. Fear and tentativeness were dominating my instincts.

Series level at 2-2, we got into the finals, and I heard the magic words, "You're opening in the finals". A negative person can only see the negative.

Such was my state despite getting the perfect opportunity to prove myself and undo my mistakes. Great sportspeople thrive under pressure, I crumbled.

While chasing 235 odd, I opened and managed to score my highest score at that point, 47(45). Appalling strike rate whilst chasing 235. We took the game deep, but the scoreboard pressure made us collapse, and we lost. Blue Eagles had won their first first-ever ACL. ACL - 3 was my last ACL before moving out of UAE for a couple of years. Following that, Red Eagles haven't won the ACL during the next 2 additions. Despite my absence in ACL-4 and ACL-5, I still hold myself accountable.

To date, if I could go back in time and play a game of cricket again, it'd probably be the ACL -3 Finals. After this, I moved out of the UAE for a work opportunity in Mumbai and thus began my cricketing journey in Mumbai, the country's cricket capital. A chance to start fresh. Do I thrive? Or does my negative mind get the better of me again?

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