How many times have we said that 2020 was the worst year of our lives?

2021 is still a troubling time in so many ways, the impact prevails. I sympathize with people who lost their jobs, livelihood, investments, and, most importantly, their loved ones.

With the current situation in India, it breaks my heart to see the amount of suffering, pain and loss this unseen enemy still causes us.

I pray the world heals, and we look back at this phase of our lives as a thing of the past with hopefully no return.

Jan 2020:

After moving back home and reuniting with my family and girlfriend (she became my fiance later that year).

Cricket started immediately after reuniting with the AE lads. Arabian Eagles Champions League (ACL) - 6 started, and I was drafted back in the Red Eagles squad. Over the years I was away, the club had scouted some solid talent that earned their slots above me, and I was a mere filler.

I got really negative about the whole situation, but before I could react, COVID-19 hit us all. The government stopped all activities around that time as soon as the pandemic hit.

We were in a frenzy, trying to figure out how to tackle this situation. It was a nerve-wracking time. The lockdown allowed me to make up for all the lost time away from my family. I was blessed I wasn't alone. I spent 5-6 months locked in with my family, with no one having the chance to escape.

July - Sep 2020: Since AE decided to wait things out on the cricketing front, I had joined a club I had briefly acquainted myself with, Stallions Dubai.

I had a decent start as a middle-order batsman with a couple of scores in the late 20s, but there was heavy criticism of my strike rate.

Oct - Nov 2020: A couple of months later, when cricket opened up full-fledged, AE lads were back playing cricket.

Things flipped completely for me. I got a few opportunities in the warm-up games and did fairly decent and got an opportunity to open for the external team.

I finally got the moment I had been visualizing and dreaming about for years.

FINALLY, I lifted my bat after scoring my first ever 50 with AE. Batting first, I opened the innings and made 71 in about 52 balls. It's my highest score to date. What made this innings truly special was that one of my best mates, Anuraag, was with me in the middle. We had a 135 run partnership.

One of my teammates Sagar, shouted, "Naren 49", and the number of times I've missed out in the 40s by playing a loose shot came flashing by. I dabbed the ball and took a risk-free single to reach my 50. Thanks, Sagar. I lifted my bat very subtly and went back to doing what we were doing because we were in the middle of an intense partnership. I wish I could go back in time and see what the dressing room was like and properly celebrate; I genuinely don't have any vision or memory of it. Learning: Enjoy these moments because you don't know when they may come again. Anuraag called me in the middle and fist-bumped me because he knew how much it meant to me. That was far more special to me than lifting the bat. We started our journies together in the squash court, and after being opponents all of our lives, we finally had a special moment together (barring our endless Old Monk nights).

We won the game with ease, and I learned that day that we spend more time working towards and visualising our dream than living it.

The following 3 weeks were a combination of average performances and being dropped.

Then came the last game I opened for AE. While chasing 200+, I struggled. I finished the innings on 55(45), and with 12 needed off the last 5 balls, I went for the glory shot and was caught at mid-wicket.

Once again, if I could go back in time and play another game in recent times, it'd be this one. I wanted to learn from my failure, be accountable for it, and get better, but unfortunately, I was dropped back down to number 7,8. Nothing sucks more than not getting to try.

Dec 2020 - Feb 2021 Post that, I had injured my muscle around the ribs, along with an impact injury on my shin. This injury was the break I needed from the game, and with my wedding around the corner, this truly was a blessing in disguise for me to enjoy without worrying about my strike rate. In the end, this is the partnership that matters the most.

March - April 2021:

After a couple of months off, I tried my best to make it back to the AE squad, but unfortunately, it never worked out. This created immense self-doubt and, as a by-product, affected my mental space and confidence, impacting my performances with other teams. I stopped having fun on the cricket field, which was alarming. I know I need to work a lot on my game, and at this point, I need some freedom to do that. Freedom to fail.

Yesterday, I decided to move on from AE for good and focus on the opportunities I have and not on the ones I don't. It goes without saying I'll always thank AE for providing a platform for me and some of my closest friends to return to the game, and I'll always root for their success in their individual and collective cricketing journeys.

Currently, I'm struggling with my batting form. I have been failing consistently (last 6 innings; I've made:

13 (11)

11 (9)

9 (8)

4 (5)

1 (3)

1 (3)

This covers everything about my past journey, and from here on, it is only about looking forward and being in the present. A fresh start. Baggage free.

Stay tuned and subscribe to find out how I tackle my bad form, learnings for the future and next steps in....

"The Future" releasing on 03/05.